And I thought I can
Easily let go and move on
I thought I can remove you out of my head! But I doubt it!
If I try to do anything just to prevent me from you,
I find myself drawn in you!
If I try to runaway from reality & sleep,
I dream of you!
Obviously, it won't be easy to let go of you
The hardest thing is, nothing & no one is helping me to let go
Especially when I am lonely...
Can you believe it?! Yes! I sometimes feel lonely & empty, though all people around & everything that surrounds, I still feel lonely!
Alone, where no one to hold or grab me close
Close, where I feel save...
Only you did, do & will always do!
I miss you!
Your voice, your talks, your understanding, your sweetness, your temper, your silly jokes...
I miss your... everything!
What I miss the most is when you let me be... Mie
Lately, I don't know if I am Mie anymore
I let go of you a while ago,
When you caused a pain that was too deep to heal
But it did; life goes on
Suddenly, you came back into my life!
When you shared with me "WHY YOU CAUSED ME THE PAIN" I recalled it all, and begun dreaming...
But when you said (...) I had to stop dreaming & shock you with the truth:
You came too late
Did I mention that it isn't my choice to let go?!
I care about you so much that I don't want to hurt you,
I care about you too much to be selfish & lie! Maybe I can lie to the world, but not you, never you!
Although it was the right thing to do, why does it feel wrong?! Isn't honesty the right thing to do?! Why does saying the truth hurts me so much?!
You will never know how special you are to me
How you changed my life
Nothing will give you a hint, not words, not posts
Nothing will describe who you are to me...
Before, I used to ask myself "WHY DID YOU LET GO?!"
Now, I am asking myself "CAN I LET GO?!"
You are out of my life, but not my mind...
I am trying to let go,
and move on
You think I can?! I doubt it!
But I did it before, maybe I can again...
Take care where ever you are,,,
Mie Mie
Sunday, October 5, 2008
A Letter to Sarah
Dear Sarah,
I wanted to write this a while ago, but time drifted me away from doing it on the right time.
I was touched with your note "Myself & I!" not because you mentioned me in a funny way ;p but because it reminded me of an old sorrow, even when you think you did the right think with it, you find out its just not healing the pain...
Remember when I always told you, I know how it feels; when someone you care the most, becomes too close to realize, and when you realize, he decides to disappear, for unknown reason. Or should I say "reasonS"...
It feels so bad, that no one can understand the pain left behind. No can imagine the breakdown you go through, even when you pretend that everything is "OKAY" and you - only you - know that it is not even close to "OKAY"! Then you decide not to share it with anyone, and when you do, you don't say it all... Especially the part of how destructive it is.
You know Sara, they think it's fine, and we can easily move on because they think we are "SUPER WOMEN" But we are not! We can't stand when someone enters our lives too quick, too sweet, too unreal to believe, too good to be true. Yes! He is too good to be true! I called him "A Dream" maybe the sweetest dream I ever had.
He is the only one how listens carefully to every single word you say,
The only one who heals your pains in a magical way, never like anyone before,
The one who understands you the most, like no one else did or do or will do.
Isn't he?!
Then, after all the joy he brings into your empty life, he disappears! That's when you wake up from you dream to face a... NIGHTMARE!
It took so long for me to move on, and heal my pain. Life moves on after all.
Then he showed up, again! But in a strange way. I won't lie, the way I always wanted him to be like. He was very honest, told me why he let go. Best part is; it wasn't mie, it was him! I won't go through details, but it was the best thing happening to me in a while. Not the fact that he said "he's sorry" but the fact that he shared it with me, or else I would have wondered forever!
Sara, do you have an idea why I am sharing this with you?!
First, we share the same feelings & sorrows -maybe the situation with slight differences
Second, he showed up the day you tagged mie in your note!
Finally, maybe we will share the same conclusion, when he'll come back and say "why?!" then it will make sense.
That moment, you will say: why didn't you share it with me?! Don't bother the answer, because it doesn't make any seances! Just try to enjoy the fact that he's there, you never know how long it will last. Perhaps, few days...
Do you want to know what happened next?! I will say one thing & I am sure you will understand; he just showed up in the wrong time...
In the end I want to say, have faith in YOU! No matter how long & deep the sorrow he left, and no matter how long it will take him to come back & say "WHY", you will get over it & will be a stronger person who won't the same mistake happen twice...
P.S. No! they don't know what you've gone through
Wuv yOu & take care ;***
Mie miE
I wanted to write this a while ago, but time drifted me away from doing it on the right time.
I was touched with your note "Myself & I!" not because you mentioned me in a funny way ;p but because it reminded me of an old sorrow, even when you think you did the right think with it, you find out its just not healing the pain...
Remember when I always told you, I know how it feels; when someone you care the most, becomes too close to realize, and when you realize, he decides to disappear, for unknown reason. Or should I say "reasonS"...
It feels so bad, that no one can understand the pain left behind. No can imagine the breakdown you go through, even when you pretend that everything is "OKAY" and you - only you - know that it is not even close to "OKAY"! Then you decide not to share it with anyone, and when you do, you don't say it all... Especially the part of how destructive it is.
You know Sara, they think it's fine, and we can easily move on because they think we are "SUPER WOMEN" But we are not! We can't stand when someone enters our lives too quick, too sweet, too unreal to believe, too good to be true. Yes! He is too good to be true! I called him "A Dream" maybe the sweetest dream I ever had.
He is the only one how listens carefully to every single word you say,
The only one who heals your pains in a magical way, never like anyone before,
The one who understands you the most, like no one else did or do or will do.
Isn't he?!
Then, after all the joy he brings into your empty life, he disappears! That's when you wake up from you dream to face a... NIGHTMARE!
It took so long for me to move on, and heal my pain. Life moves on after all.
Then he showed up, again! But in a strange way. I won't lie, the way I always wanted him to be like. He was very honest, told me why he let go. Best part is; it wasn't mie, it was him! I won't go through details, but it was the best thing happening to me in a while. Not the fact that he said "he's sorry" but the fact that he shared it with me, or else I would have wondered forever!
Sara, do you have an idea why I am sharing this with you?!
First, we share the same feelings & sorrows -maybe the situation with slight differences
Second, he showed up the day you tagged mie in your note!
Finally, maybe we will share the same conclusion, when he'll come back and say "why?!" then it will make sense.
That moment, you will say: why didn't you share it with me?! Don't bother the answer, because it doesn't make any seances! Just try to enjoy the fact that he's there, you never know how long it will last. Perhaps, few days...
Do you want to know what happened next?! I will say one thing & I am sure you will understand; he just showed up in the wrong time...
In the end I want to say, have faith in YOU! No matter how long & deep the sorrow he left, and no matter how long it will take him to come back & say "WHY", you will get over it & will be a stronger person who won't the same mistake happen twice...
P.S. No! they don't know what you've gone through
Wuv yOu & take care ;***
Mie miE
Sunday, September 14, 2008
What's Beyond Rage...
I am still wondering,
When is the right time to talk,
The time when we can be us,
When is right time to lay back, relax & be ourselves?!
I am still wondering,
When is the right time to be together?!
If we are both busy in everything & everyone but... us
I am still wondering,
How can we be together, when we see one another rarely & briefly?!
When we barely speak, thinking to ourselves; once a day is enough. And yet briefly
If I didn't find you to tell the boring story of my day...
how it felt searching for my teddy bear while sleeping,
when my younger sis told me about her first day in school,
discussing any stupid issue with dad while eating,
asking mom to hang out with friends,
talking with my friend about life,
driving back home listening to a funny love song - funny! it reminded me of you!
The best part of my boring day: calling you, but you are way way too busy to answer,
Or answer, yet briefly!
Let me go back to the question: if i didn't find you to tell all these details
and share all feeling came along with it,
who will I share it with?!
The problem is: I can share it with the world, but it will never feel good... The way it feels good when I share it with you...
Yes! There is something about you, that got me wondering...
Why did I suddenly feel different toward you?!
How did I fall, when & why...
How could you & only you, make me feel good when ever I talk to you?!
Even when I don't reveal sadness that surrounds me...
Though you don't always say what I need to hear, you always say the right thing?!
I realize later that it is the wise thing...
When you do something wrong, you always know how to get things right, even better than before?!
You always exceed my expectation...
But all of that is done once in a while,
I guess this part makes you human, or real - should I say...
I am fine with "real" ...
But sometimes I want more not less,
I need to live in fantasies sometimes,
It is always nice to runaway from reality, from time to time...
However; I am still wondering,
About you, me & us to be,
Still wondering when will we escape from being real?!
And will always wonder what is life hiding for you, me & our mysterious "WE"
P.S. forgive my rage, I simply want to say "I MISS YOU & MISS BEING WITH YOU" ...
Mie MiE
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