I opened my blog and the first thing I see is "New Post" page, as if it felt I want to write after a long time of desertion !This white space is so tempting! Any white surface is... In fact any blank surface is just as tempting as a jar full of Godiva dark chocolate!
Did you know dark chocolate makes me high?
I believe I am born with more than 0.1% of alcohol running in my blood.. That's why good music & dark chocolate take me to the sky ...
Or maybe it's just the devil in me who's putting all this in my head!
Someone told me when I argued with her that all my analysis and the way I saw thing are not true and "it's only in your head"
But when others read her texts, they told me "the only wrong thing is she ... Not your head"
What's with people and my head? They always blame it when I disagree with them.. My head is not to be blamed, it's your attitude with me & my brain you morons!
My mom always told not to share my upcoming plans with anyone, because in my society envy is سيد الموقف
For the past 20 years -more or less- I argued that point with her saying "we don't live in somiliya ! Everyone have everything!"
Now that I am 27 , almost, I found out that: true! Everyone do have everything, but they don't kiss & tell.
My sisters never told me their real upcoming plans or secrets, they lie to my face & I hate liars! Unless they want my help
My cousins who are "supposedly" my childhood friends, never ever told me whats on their minds... Yet they don't like it when I do the same!
After an almost 27 years, its ugly to admit that ... My mom was right!
When I wake up to get anything done in the morning, I look like a zombie & act like one! But if I was going for a morning coffee or catch up with my less than 5 friends, I jump of bed with so much energy & positivity...
That is because I don't love obligations & must dos ! I hate renewing my ID cz I have too, I hate school cz it's a must & I hate socializing for the sake of hunting a husband!
Some men are really disgusting, I only blame their mothers for raising jerks who walk with pride for breaking a heart .. Or maybe a dozen!
Back in the naive days, when all I wanted was a husband I love & a family of my own, my heart was easily slashed .. Two times were enough to turn me into a slashing heartless monster..
The 1st time is always shocking, but the 2nd is the ugliest cz you think you're aware of love, have it all, everything is fine, you lie & you know it... So when your heart is broken for a 2nd time, it either makes you or devastates you!
Now, being naive is not a lifestyle, it's a mask I put on sometimes when I miss having a broken heart... What is a human without misery ?
I love smokers, men who don't have a minus .. In fact I notice that nonsmoking men gossip like us more than smokers do!
I met a guy for our 1st & last "urgent friendly coffee" and he talked shit about people I've never heard about before that "urgent friendly coffee" ... When he was done gossiping about complete strangers to me, he never called back & I thought something was wrong with me, until I found out he only wanted to bring out all the kept-in-gossips ... And he doesn't smoke! Ugly fag!
I love smokers because of the first man I fell in love with , not the 1st one I dated... There's a different!
He was a heavy smoker, there was something about the way he hold his cigarette, when he press it with his lips & blow out the smoke... I watch him & see myself being held, squeezed & blown !
So I added on my hidden Price Charming (husband) list: I want him to be a smoker.
But I don't want my man to treat me like his cigarette, smashed or thrown after pleasure. I want him to treat me the way he treats his car! Like a queen :)
Some men get me wrong cz I speak loudly about my guy friends... They are friends not hoes to sleep with! The ones who do get me wrong only look at girls as a sexual pleasing tool.. I blame their mothers for that!
I know I know! Men are visual creatures. But some of them use one eye to fantasy & the other to think/communicate like a human being, the way God created him.
Those who look at us only as their bed amusement, decided to become animals though God made them humans!
That's why we are judged on our choices & forced on the outcome.
Yes! I'm liberal & believe in judgement! people should be believers in God regardless of their choices in life; simply because we wouldn't have a life if He didn't want us to!
Yes I am liberal, a rebel on traditions & society, strong supporter of freedom in everything , believer in love & in friendship between men & women... And I want to go to heaven :) for being at least an honest human being!
My small left toe hurts :/
I'm tired of secretly liking someone, but I am completely helpless about it!
Admitting love in places like this society, turns a woman into a hoe! But a man into a more man & an excellent player!
Anyways, what can I do with someone I had a crush on for years & can't hide it any more?! Such a waste of time, brain & emotions! But my stupid heart is a قفله! It wants no one but him now!
You know ?! I'll just ignore it then it'll forget about him.
But this time I don't want to play games, no naive masks, this time -like some past other times- I want to be myself to the fullest ... In love; to enjoy & live it, just be yourself to the fullest! If he doesn't love the full package, someone will ,,,
Any hows, I like him so much & he doesn't know, maybe he does ! I don't know :/ what I know is.. I like you!
Cheers for now
Love forever
& always listen to the sound of the wind !
Mie Mie
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