Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I dont NEED you.. i WANT you!


How contradictive.. right?!

I am reading a book a dear person gave to mie & said: "it will change your view on things & will open your eyes on other". It's not The Secret - i dont really like it & i didnt follow the flow & bought it!
There is a part in the book that explains why relationships fail or turn down at a point when both partner can't stand one another; answering the question of "what happened to the love that was so strong at the begining?!".
The auther says -and i am strongly convinced- that the problem of couples in relationships is deeper than the ice they build. It's an inner problem, that one doesnt communicate with their two sides, the male & the female sides within.
Ya3nee.. We all have a female & a male side; if you are a female, you only communicate with your female side ignoring your male side. Which creates an incomplete inner circule that provides self confidence & inner peace; because you didn't fully communicated with your both sides and you exepect your partner to fill the blanks in the circle.

So that's the problem!

Yes indeed!! Going back to the female example. When she completes her inner circle with both sides -female & male- by herself, she will understand her partner's swinging moods, his "Cave Theory" when he feels bad, and his famous "I need to be alone!" sentence...
The auther says that the key to a less "failure" relationship is first complete your inner circle with your sides by your own, and never exepect others to do that task for you. Once you do that by your self, you will have the power to stand by your self & help your partner do the same. You are compeleted & you dont need anyone to help you communicate with your self. As a matter of fact, the partner role won't be to do your duties, but it will be to share eachother's positive energy.

He is right...
Communicate with your both sides,
Complete your circul by your own,
Fill your self with inner energy,
Exepect no one to do your homework with your self
& You will be the strong wise one in a relation, ready to share & take in return.

So...

He is there not because i need him
Nor to complete mie! He is there because I want him to be
He is there because he adds up on my self confidence, my perfection & my positive energy that all already exist. But if he is there to make mie down all the time, to underestimate me in someway, and to grab me to his dark ugly word... Then 3ufa AKA let him go with no tears...

Superwoman??

Again no! i dont really like the "SUPERWOMAN" idea! I still believe that the best & perfect shlter for a woman is a MAN's arm. But untl i find the MAN -a very rare & unique item these days- I wont waste more energy on worthless items no more! This will give mie time to strengthen my inner circule & communicate well with my MALE side.

I DON'T NEED YOU; I CAN STAND BY MY OWN
YOU DON'T COMPLETE MIE; I AM INTERNALLY FULFILLED
I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE FOR THE POSITIVTY YOU PROVIDE


bs tabun el sej,,, i need a hug, a strong passionate one -this really been aloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooog while!!! ;p


P.S. All eyes around mie, execpt yours... 3afak el 5a6er bs U pissed mie off & made mie stick to my concept of ZERO EXEPECTATIONS!! When I want to losen this concept, andeger! So I am sticking to it FOREVER! ;p

Mie Mie

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Randomly Randoms :*

1. Super Hatrik!

Hatrik is a football term when a team when a match with 3 goals VS nothing from the opposite team. Super Hatrik goals above 3, ya3ny (4 goals) is a Super Hatrik!
It's a the word i used today to describe the spectacular victory of Kuwaiti Women in the final elections, they didnt make it with one, two or three at they're first entry, they made it with 4 Candidates winning the elections from different religion & political believes. They made a Super Hatrik! Best part?! Non of their political believes belong to 3ADAS -- YES! I HATE THEM!
Another great thing?! 16/5/2005 is when the National Assembly (majles el Omma) FINALLY agreed on giving Kuwaiti women their political rights & on 16/5/2009 Four Kuwaiti women won the elections & will entre H.H. Abdullah Al Salem Hall as PARLIMENTS MEMBERS... finally :)

Dr. Ma3souma Al Mubarak
Dr. Salwa Al Jassar
Dr. Rola Dashty & Dr. Aseel Al 3awathy... You made a dream come true, you make us proud & we look up to you! Good luck
Oo 7a9wa fee 3ein 3adas oo '3erhoum elly maysaloun 3al Neby!!!

P.S. I will go to the opening session of the assembly & see the faces of 3adas members when the 4 ladies enter the hall :)

2. When I see you, I see butterflies & its been a while...


When I listen to Alicia Keys song (Butterflies) i get a rush in my viens! Especially that just a while ago, it's been a while since i got "Butterflies" and felt like walking on the clouds! Just a while ago, it's been a while since i blushed for seeing someone or for just thinking of someone! Just a while back, it's been a while since i felt tempted to ... whatever i love doing with someone ;)

Why?! nothing is interesting, fear of being driven in emotions & involved in the unknown, and the trip stopped being exsiting!

Until I saw him, at the office & in the middle of the crowed, something kept pulling my eyes toward him out of all the guys who were in the same room, he managed to attract mie. But the blush & butterflies didnt come until one time he.. He just passed by a dream & BUFF!
Then I saw him 2 weeks later walking by mie, looking stright into my eyes & that was it! I blushed, got so many butterflies that my friend told mie: shfeh wayhesh 9ar a7mar?! He gave butterflies, plenty of them, so many of them & it feels soooo GREAT! And everytime i see him walking through the corridor, or passing by mie, and we look stright into the eyes.. WHOA! Just an amazing feeling, an amazing rush through my veins rushes!
And everytime I think of him I smile, & whenever he passes by i blush... I miss that feeling & he gives it mie whenever we see one another!
What's next?! I have no clue! I will twinkle & see where that will take us, keep ZERO exepectations & follow the flow of things & butterflies, ana bashuf a5rat hal butterflies shenu?! ;$

P.S. Couldn't upload the song, ENJOY it on the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vciXfY9uuE

3. she said "we dont live like they do"!
For a while now, a very closer than close friend of mine keeps saying "when dont live like they do! no exsitment, no fun, no what others got!"...
Yes we don't, I choose to be different & fight this nasty flow!! Freedom is being who we are not who others exepect us to be. Freedom is not changing your self just to be in a (groupie) of XXXXXXX ! Yes my dear, we are different & I love that. it is not only you, it is also mie & others who we still didnt meet. We were born to be different & it's not bad,, aslan it feels so right that i feel sorry for the ones you talk about! You know what I think about them?! They are empty too, because they have nothing to live for & whatever life gives them I am sure it took so much in return.
Being who we are is not wrong, turning like them is wrong and i think wanting to have their exsitment or fun or what they got is wrong too.

P.S Don't close your eyes on what you got, open it & you will realize that you have things others want but will never be as lucky as you are. luv u ;*

4. Good nite ;*


Qoundoush -or Guantanamu as 7amani says (LOL)- wishs u a nitie nite & sweet dreams so does mie.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

He Passed Away

May 6 2008

After a long working day; going on a tour with regional managers & all team members who i meet for the first time, presenting my role & how important it is for the team, going from H.O. to Marina to Avenues, having fun & smilling. After a long good working day I thought I should pass by granny - Dad's mom - and stay til dinner as usual...
It was 6pm when I got there, she looked pale, sad... I thought she wasn't feeling well since she has AZMA

Mie: What's wrong

Granny: Why did you come here!?
The question shocked me! she never asked and it felt weired!
Mie (joking): To say hi, you want me to go?! 5alas mat7ebouny?!
Granny: Why didnt go to Salwa*?!
Mie: Why would I go there?! Jedo & Tita** are both in Lebanon, Aunt Titi is at work, and sure Uncle 7amani is not there. Shall I stay with the shadows?!
Granny said nothing...
We watched the stupid turkish series on MBC (Sanawat El Thaya3) and stayed quite for a while; something was worried but I didnt know what until the phone rang...
Granny: Aloo.. Ahlan.. mno?!.. El 7amdilla.. AJERNA OO AJREK.. mashkour ma3 el salama.
Mie: WHO'S DEAD?! -I thought one of her uncles died because one was really sick; Allah y6awel b3umurhum-
Granny nervously: WHY DIDNT YOU GO TO SALWA?! I TOLD ... JEDO GHLOUM DIED!

...

Jedo Ghloum: is my grand father, my mother's dad.

* Salwa: His house
** Jedo & Tita: means Grand-pa & Grand-ma

...

I grabed my key, tried not to cry infront of the weak heart old woman, turned my car on, called cuppie & screamed: HE IS DIED! JEDO GHLOUM IS DEAD... WHY?! I dont KONW how i reached Salwa, i was crying all the way, divestated! I called my boss and cried telling her i need couble of days off and i cant go to any team gathering. I hang up, kept crying like a child! I was thinking of one thing: I didnt say "goodbye" before he travelled! How could i?!?!?!

Salwa... everyone was black, people grabbed me before i get in & said: Dont cry, your mom is not okay! dont breakdown!
I sat on the first chair i found, tears were falling.. thinking: When?! How?! Where?! Why?! And how did all these people know?! Does my brother who studys abroad know?! Akeed my couzins dont know yet because no one called or text messaged me?!
When cuppie came, i couldnt hold myself, i went out, breakdown, hugged her & cried saying: WHY DID HE DIE?! I DIDNT SAY GOODBYE?! WHY????
He died at 12:30 PM; I knew at 6:30 PM. I was the last member of the family to be informed & I still blame every family member for not telling mie!

Jedo Ghloum ... Words Are Never Enough
Jedo Ghloum is different. He was tall, big grand-pas' tummy, white hair, pointed noise, wide eyes a typical (3imy) man! What was very different, his voice tune! Sharp & loud, anyone would be shocked for that strong voice tune he had.
He was rised without a mother -died when she gave him birth- and his dad died i guess when he was 7 or nine years old. He had only one brother, A7mad who died 8 years ago. He had a small family.
Jedo Ghloum was able to be a great man & then build a great family; he did it from scratch! He travelled all around the world, and became friend with so many people. He married his love of his life, tita Kareema, in Lebanon 1958 and had five children one of them is my mom. He travels to Lebanon every year for 6 months! It was his yearly "getaway" he meet his old friends, play cards, drive around to buy some veges & fruits, walk in the village where his house is... He loved it & that's where he died.
Jedo Ghloum had a very special accent, because he travelled so much, he came up with his own language that used to crack us up! Imagine: Kuwaiti, English, Indian, Philipeness, Lebanon, Iranian & God knows! Mix them all in one language and you get Jedo Ghloum's language.

We would tease him for his name (Ghloum) because it sounds funny! When I grew up, he told me his mother gave him a She3y name though they are not because there was an old idea: If your kids die at birth, give a name from a different religious group & it will bliss him & live. Ofcourse he didnt believe in it because it's wrong saying: "If God wants me to live I will. But if he wants me to die I will even if they named me Jesus! But thats the way uneducated people think, we can't blame them".

Jedo Ghloum & Mie

I was the first grand daughter he had; I was special. He taught me to LOVE money, to always ask him for it & ask for more! Yet taught me how save for rainy days.

He was funny! Not only his language but also his ... things! Once, it was the weekly gathering at his place & we were in the living room watching Pussy Cat Dolls' "BOTTONS" when he came in, sat with us and when the song finished, he said with a tone: WHO CHANGED THE CHANNEL?! PUT THAT CHANNEL BACK!

He made us laugh, we still do when we remember but with a falling tear...

When V channel first launched in Kuwait, he would never let me watch it! Unless when I fool him & say: There is a new channel that shows the latest news! Channel 73! Must see!! When he turn to it, and V channel would show, he throws the remote near at mie & say: TGESEN 3ALAY YA KALBA! I laugh madly & do it again!

The funniest one on one story happened in Lebanon 2001 when i was 16; I was watching TV at our house there, he walked in with his angrey yet funny look & ...
Jedo Ghloum: Did you pray?!
Mie laying on a sofa: No..
Jedo Ghloum: Why?! Too pretty to pray ya princissa?!
Mie: I am pretty & a princissa, but that is not why! I cant, not feeling well!
Jedo Ghloum: You are good at nothing! all you do is stay late at night in one of your "7abarbash" friends and lay down all day then go to their place over and over!
Mie just nodded my head deciding to ignore him
Jedo Ghloum: Get yourself off the sofa & pray!
Mie: I told you I am sick
Tita Karema interferring: Leave her alone! she told you she is sick!
Jedo Ghloum ironicly: What kind of sickness prevents her from praying??
Mie mad angrey yalling: I GOT MY PERIOD! HAPPY??
Jedo Ghloum said nothing but smilled & walked away

He wasnt mean, I thought he was but I was wrong! He has the biggest & kinddest heart! Very .. No! Extremely generous with everyone & anyone. He never prevented his children or his wife from anything. Just because he didnt live the fancy life, it never meant that his family should not live it! He encouraged all his children to study & get bachlor degree even if it was from the States! He was very open minded but with normal limits & nothing was a must.

He loves Najwa Karam, went to some of her concerts, and when a song shows on TV he would turn up the volume.

It's been a year now...

His death was shocking because he was fine, he wasnt sick and he was happy.
It is a personal thing to mie because,, he is the first member of the family pass away. His death made mie realize the concept of death. Yes I believed in it, but I never felt how strange & sad it is until he died...
It shocked mie, and i remained shocked for a very long time
Maybe because of series "alerts" I had of him & ignored them?!
His death made me realize how quick & surprising death is; and life is too short to waste it on worthless things!
I paused & looked into my life, where I stand & what I want to be?! Action plan has to start right now!! And it did ...
I registered for my Masters Course then informed my parents about my acceptence, I quite my job & started looking for other oppertunities, I started this blog which I found pleasure in it, I believe in this: Life is too short to be wasted!
In the First Anniversary

Jedo Ghloum; in the first anniversary of your death i want you to know that I love you, will always pray for you, you left a huge space no one can fill, I still imagine that I will go to Salwa & see you sitting on your chair in the garden stearing at things, i still here your voice saying your signture "AHLAAAAN", I feel so happy when ever you visit my dreams telling me you are fine & let me hug you ... I am sorry for not saying "Goodbye" & hope you are happy whenever your soul passes by.


Yours,,
Mie Mie

اللهم ارحم موتنا وموتى جميع المسلمين يا أرحم الرحمين