oNe & oNly

You are the best tutor i ever had ...

and You will never know how much i learned from You

and You will never realize how deep your scar is in my life!

And You may never guess i'm talking about You!

>> dont ask why You are flashing in my mind more than usual lately <<

and dont ask why I'm posting this!

Life takes mie here & there, meeting new people & learning new things about life it self.

But I always say this: He is the best tutor fate introduced to mie!

You tought mie how to be mean,

and how to walk with pride and smile when I am torned inside!

You showed mie the way to FORGET, FORGIVE & FORBID!

and taught mie my fav game from time to time i like to play: causing everyone a heart ache, including mine!

I thank You, wherever you are, for the pain & lessons you have been sharing without greed from the day we met... Very long time ago!

I thank you for waking mie up & showing mie how BITCH life can be! Pulling mie from my pink world of dreams!

Well ... it has been awhile since we last talked which I also learned another lesson; keeping you in my life is the source of pain! And I am sure, somehow, it is not the last lesson I learn from You!

A Sincere Dedication...

P.S.

You were killing mie softly

I used to love it; wanting more just to keep you around!

You kept on making my heart bleed; you have your ways!

Managing to play the same trick on mie; and I fall for the it always!

I suddenly decided to stop my heart bleed, stop your dancing on wounds theme!

I knew it will cost mie much. But I lost the most precious thing I thought it was, I have nothing to cry for anymore!

Amazed of myself, I am breathing without you being part of my new picture!

A picture you helped in creating yet I managed to finish it all by myself!

And no! You are not allowed to see until ... infinity!

You were killing mie softly, but not anymore...

I managed to get over, and i am so proud!

Mie Mie

When you don't consider it ... it comes to you!!!

Trying to live a calm life, away from Drama Kings & away from headaches & tears.

It was a decision taken to back away, relax & think before getting involved again in love.

At first it is hard, long nights, quit phone ... But I got used to it eventually.

The other day, i went for lunch with SadeQtie Delu ;* and we were talking about what any two girls sit & talk about ... GUYS

The first thing she told mie when she saw mie -its been a while: U look different!

Mie: Prettier?! no joking! ;p

Delu: Hehehe! Fresh! sHEmsawYA?!?!? WhatS neW?!?! @@

I liked that.. and told her: Nothing, i guess i am Single & Lovin it! ;)

then we compared between the (single & lovin it) VS (lovey dovey) situations; both have good things & bad things but we agree that sometimes u need the "lovin it" situation to think & take the right choice, the right person at the right time.

And the day went with the same Calm "Lovin it" routine.. until the night came

I was working on an essay & doing a stupid math thing -if u know mie, u will know how much i understand math!!!!- AnywAys, in the middle of numbers surgery, my phone rang, strange no. thinking: aked its my uncle's new no. he get a new phone every week!!!

Mie: alo?!

Voice: ...

Mie: ALO!!!

HIM: alo ...

Mie: MENO?!?!

HIM: ana ... flan!

FLAN ...

FLAN is someone i love being with for so many reasons, yet that rarely happens for one reason! FLAN stood by mie in so many situations through last year which was a very dramatic year! FLAN takes everything i say seriously & makes mie feel good about mie!

FLAN was the only one who put up with all my demands!

FLAN always told mie what to do & it was always the right thing to do!

FLAN stand mie being sarcastic, silly, moody especially in my hormonic swings!

FLAN showered mie with sweet words, tender, love & everything i need & want!

YeS!! FLAN is every girls dream guy!! But the problem is... he is ALWAYS BUSY! and there is always something new to be busy with, i could stand that for a month or two but not 3ala 6ooool !!

He is always too busy to answer the phone, too busy to reply a msg, too busy to do anything together!!! I hated it but kept it all under the umbrella of "maY5alef, mara7 a7en!"

Until, one day, a bad, i put it all out & screamed like crazy... ending everything between US.

Every while, i find myself thinking about him

how different he is from others

how sweet & tender

how unique!

That's when I feel sad for the massive breakup & ask myself: Do i really love him?! I mean that much?!

He would send a msg every ones in awhile,

show up with a smile,

but my pride!! My problem is my PRIDE!

It won't let mie believe that someone could love mie with all my stubborn pride!

Until last night when he called,, and said "i love u even more than before"

I couldnt realize & thought it was a dream or something i want to hear!

My pride was speaking, when he shut it down and said "i'm sorry & i love u"

wHat could a girl say?! I tried to fight his temptation but i think i failed!

Because i want to believe that something could work right...

I want to believe in hope & Little Marmaid happy ending -the Disney version!

Yes I want to have a fairy tale & a price charming!!

See! I told you I am against SUPERWOMAN idea; once i find the right shoulder to run too!

When you dont think about it -love- it comes to you! Forcing it self on you & not giving a chance to think!!!

Sweet surrender!? Just slip & fall right into his arms?!

aFter all HiS trYs to make thIngs riGht; dO i gIve uP on hiM and say gOOdbye?!

Or shall I give him and my Hope of Love Story another chance?!

P.S. i think i love u too; but fear is holding mie back!

Mie Mie